We Already Have Everything We Need

Despite our intellectual advantages over other species, humans are not born with the innate ability to understand ourselves. As socially dependent creatures, this is achieved through relationships. At an early age, these relationships are vital in helping us form perceptions of ourselves, our values, our purposes, and our identities.

One of the primary relationships we use to form our self-concept is our relationship with the culture around us. In the U.S., our society prioritizes a mindset of scarcity and productivity, perceiving emotions like sadness or grief as weakness. As children, we hold ourselves to these unwritten expectations to feel accepted. Happiness, excitement, and joy are some of the only "productive" feelings our society allows to be perceived as good and helpful.

As children, we realize that we are not always able to meet these expectations, so we begin to form the belief that there must be something wrong with us. Since we have a strong need for love and belonging, we try hard to become whatever is deemed good and acceptable. We abandon who we are and how we feel. In essence, we deny our need to fit in and keep peace, wearing masks to hide our truth from the world.

It all began when we were young, with the words and actions of those who had the most influence on us, those who were the closest in a relationship to us, and those who held the most power over us. As adults, we also carry this same power to build or destroy. Most of us have continued to repeat what we learned through self-destructive words and actions. It is possible to begin again and reclaim what was lost. As we learn to use courage and compassion tools, we realize we already have everything we need to put the pieces back together. You can rebuild a healthy connection with yourself; when you do, you will realize how resilient you are. Regardless of what you were told, you are worthy of being known and loved, but you must discover this for yourself.

If you would like to explore these topics more in-depth, feel free to contact me.

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